instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
