she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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