my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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