you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
