I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
