i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
