He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
