Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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