my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
