ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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