i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
