Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
