Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
