I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize