hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
