anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
