She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
