Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
