Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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