Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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