That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
