You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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