No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
