I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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