I just saw a hot homeless man
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
