Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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