Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
