So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
