Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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