sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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