You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
