Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize