id be glad to
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
