Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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