I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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