If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
