but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
