Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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