You smell like stripper and shame
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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