oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
