guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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