Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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