I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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