This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
