Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
