Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
