Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
