using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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