oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
