I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
