a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
