Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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