Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
