this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
