dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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