I think my vagina is haunted
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
