I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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