My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
