One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
