she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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