craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
