mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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