Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
