If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
